composer, solid-state physicist, paper pusher, de-licer, englšnder, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, camel trader, caucasian, mammal, bomb shelter, private dick, painter, head shrinker, anteater, toe-nail clipper, old masters restorer, unemployed jockey, pumpkin masher, best girlfriend, grave robber, philosopher, your worst nightmare, basket weaver, bra underwirer, autogamist, refrigerator defurrer, rumour spreader, gurkha, prodigal son, debutante, eccles-cake eater, astrologist, julio iglesias' lyricist, hippopotamus wrestler, mad hatter, poet, northerner, soap opera starlet, warmonger, astronaut, sushi chef, oceanographer, antarctic explorer, tramp, elephant-house cleaner, male, leach sucker, blue-eyed, snake charmer, mercury sniffer, sister, leg cruncher, jockstrap test pilot, corpse manicurist, football commentator, tattle-teller, fire hazard, religious leader, brown haired, stamp licker, contortionist, beard trimmer, egg pickler, programmer, (null), armpit sound artist, psychoanalyst, celebrity embalmer, pooper-scooper, necrologist, fruit picker, prickly pear importer, home-made man, root canal digger, monomaniac, sculptor, experimental ornithologist, pedicurist, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, cowboy, cricketer, roadrunner, taxidermist, jet-setter, post-raphaelite, good egg, make-up remover, bounty hunter, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, pepper grinder, teacher, 13 stone, six-footer, DIY fetishist, absolutist, would-be francophone, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, wheel changer, traffic warden, healer, goatherd, anthropophage, worrier, mushroom cultivator, former united states president, herbivore, 180 lbs, consumer, 82 kgs, happy camper, failure, natural gas producer, post-natal, march hare, palm reader, elvis lookalike, land mine detonator, a-and-f-singer, intestinal pipe cleaner, coffin nailer, rectangulist, ghostwriter, love potion, bad speller, political consultant, jammy sod, goodie-goodie, cannon fodder, amateur gynecologist, crowd pleaser, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, lady di impersonator, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, seasonal motocrotte driver, sherpa, remote controller, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, professional mourner, zebra de-striper, film critic, margaret thatcher's joke writer, olympic gold medallist, sexologist, landscape gardener, 1m88, bear baiter, performance artist, hair stylist, ex-oboist, will-never-be ex-drinker, draft enforcer, soap-box maker, highwayman, potty trainer, sherker, ex-smoker, brother, burger flipper, rollmop herring roller, hatchet man, settee upholsterer, pop icon, imposter, big cheese, moisturiser, bikini waxer, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, honourary pygmy, chest hair decurler, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards