astronaut, pepper grinder, beard trimmer, sherker, amateur gynecologist, worrier, moisturiser, healer, elvis lookalike, hippopotamus wrestler, gurkha, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, jammy sod, julio iglesias' lyricist, rollmop herring roller, de-licer, natural gas producer, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, burger flipper, taxidermist, root canal digger, warmonger, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, margaret thatcher's joke writer, mercury sniffer, mammal, experimental ornithologist, make-up remover, bounty hunter, religious leader, sculptor, astrologist, snake charmer, teacher, prickly pear importer, corpse manicurist, intestinal pipe cleaner, necrologist, contortionist, landscape gardener, toe-nail clipper, bear baiter, cannon fodder, olympic gold medallist, bomb shelter, honourary pygmy, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, anteater, brother, egg pickler, unemployed jockey, palm reader, a-and-f-singer, celebrity embalmer, eccles-cake eater, prodigal son, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, bra underwirer, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, settee upholsterer, football commentator, happy camper, psychoanalyst, post-raphaelite, lady di impersonator, northerner, good egg, fire hazard, best girlfriend, seasonal motocrotte driver, blue-eyed, chest hair decurler, post-natal, leg cruncher, old masters restorer, wheel changer, 180 lbs, tramp, pooper-scooper, sherpa, pumpkin masher, philosopher, ex-smoker, stamp licker, roadrunner, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, pedicurist, sushi chef, goatherd, pop icon, basket weaver, private dick, coffin nailer, (null), sexologist, big cheese, home-made man, programmer, armpit sound artist, oceanographer, debutante, head shrinker, herbivore, brown haired, potty trainer, remote controller, camel trader, paper pusher, soap opera starlet, 1m88, englšnder, ghostwriter, hatchet man, film critic, former united states president, refrigerator defurrer, fruit picker, rumour spreader, jet-setter, leach sucker, sister, solid-state physicist, land mine detonator, DIY fetishist, male, professional mourner, 13 stone, draft enforcer, ex-oboist, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, consumer, zebra de-striper, elephant-house cleaner, grave robber, would-be francophone, bikini waxer, march hare, antarctic explorer, highwayman, monomaniac, political consultant, goodie-goodie, performance artist, love potion, 82 kgs, caucasian, rectangulist, six-footer, mushroom cultivator, failure, absolutist, soap-box maker, cricketer, bad speller, traffic warden, hair stylist, tattle-teller, will-never-be ex-drinker, crowd pleaser, composer, autogamist, jockstrap test pilot, mad hatter, poet, anthropophage, painter, imposter, cowboy, your worst nightmare, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards