brown haired, burger flipper, elephant-house cleaner, root canal digger, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, zebra de-striper, home-made man, refrigerator defurrer, post-natal, potty trainer, programmer, toe-nail clipper, hair stylist, love potion, sculptor, philosopher, good egg, rumour spreader, football commentator, will-never-be ex-drinker, leg cruncher, ex-oboist, political consultant, egg pickler, performance artist, bounty hunter, bomb shelter, imposter, post-raphaelite, basket weaver, sister, warmonger, cannon fodder, monomaniac, cricketer, blue-eyed, failure, sushi chef, poet, brother, 1m88, anthropophage, natural gas producer, goatherd, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, highwayman, private dick, tattle-teller, hippopotamus wrestler, solid-state physicist, pumpkin masher, male, cowboy, honourary pygmy, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, caucasian, lady di impersonator, make-up remover, crowd pleaser, soap-box maker, soap opera starlet, jammy sod, de-licer, bad speller, healer, camel trader, mammal, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, sherpa, six-footer, ex-smoker, armpit sound artist, gurkha, 13 stone, consumer, necrologist, oceanographer, teacher, 180 lbs, coffin nailer, absolutist, your worst nightmare, psychoanalyst, autogamist, composer, sherker, debutante, film critic, 82 kgs, prickly pear importer, experimental ornithologist, DIY fetishist, palm reader, ghostwriter, worrier, mad hatter, corpse manicurist, painter, olympic gold medallist, old masters restorer, would-be francophone, grave robber, roadrunner, settee upholsterer, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, pooper-scooper, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, head shrinker, happy camper, former united states president, goodie-goodie, leach sucker, rollmop herring roller, eccles-cake eater, astronaut, sexologist, herbivore, draft enforcer, fruit picker, jockstrap test pilot, (null), remote controller, hatchet man, pedicurist, landscape gardener, intestinal pipe cleaner, traffic warden, tramp, pop icon, a-and-f-singer, taxidermist, wheel changer, elvis lookalike, jet-setter, paper pusher, fire hazard, religious leader, northerner, bikini waxer, mushroom cultivator, stamp licker, big cheese, moisturiser, anteater, best girlfriend, march hare, julio iglesias' lyricist, antarctic explorer, prodigal son, pepper grinder, land mine detonator, amateur gynecologist, rectangulist, beard trimmer, snake charmer, margaret thatcher's joke writer, chest hair decurler, bear baiter, professional mourner, astrologist, celebrity embalmer, unemployed jockey, mercury sniffer, bra underwirer, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, seasonal motocrotte driver, englšnder, contortionist, ... (suggestions?)


(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)
 

upwards and onwards