zebra de-striper, home-made man, DIY fetishist, highwayman, goodie-goodie, 82 kgs, sexologist, caucasian, head shrinker, remote controller, elvis lookalike, philosopher, hair stylist, prickly pear importer, sherpa, northerner, best girlfriend, rectangulist, potty trainer, herbivore, beard trimmer, root canal digger, painter, olympic gold medallist, camel trader, bear baiter, sculptor, film critic, hippopotamus wrestler, failure, former united states president, mammal, englšnder, margaret thatcher's joke writer, political consultant, tramp, draft enforcer, jockstrap test pilot, hatchet man, cowboy, bad speller, astronaut, healer, autogamist, experimental ornithologist, solid-state physicist, settee upholsterer, elephant-house cleaner, private dick, contortionist, armpit sound artist, professional mourner, fruit picker, pop icon, football commentator, taxidermist, love potion, moisturiser, mad hatter, astrologist, worrier, anteater, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, psychoanalyst, warmonger, leg cruncher, bra underwirer, wheel changer, composer, eccles-cake eater, monomaniac, religious leader, anthropophage, tattle-teller, teacher, jet-setter, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, prodigal son, good egg, make-up remover, rollmop herring roller, palm reader, ex-smoker, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, jammy sod, bomb shelter, bounty hunter, pumpkin masher, programmer, cannon fodder, julio iglesias' lyricist, ghostwriter, six-footer, 1m88, sushi chef, your worst nightmare, de-licer, (null), imposter, soap opera starlet, absolutist, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, necrologist, gurkha, roadrunner, old masters restorer, mercury sniffer, stamp licker, traffic warden, snake charmer, march hare, amateur gynecologist, would-be francophone, seasonal motocrotte driver, landscape gardener, honourary pygmy, pepper grinder, blue-eyed, refrigerator defurrer, intestinal pipe cleaner, pooper-scooper, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, oceanographer, paper pusher, bikini waxer, brother, fire hazard, lady di impersonator, big cheese, land mine detonator, ex-oboist, cricketer, chest hair decurler, leach sucker, debutante, corpse manicurist, will-never-be ex-drinker, egg pickler, rumour spreader, pedicurist, male, happy camper, performance artist, toe-nail clipper, antarctic explorer, crowd pleaser, soap-box maker, brown haired, celebrity embalmer, grave robber, post-raphaelite, 180 lbs, sherker, basket weaver, coffin nailer, goatherd, consumer, burger flipper, natural gas producer, post-natal, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, unemployed jockey, sister, 13 stone, a-and-f-singer, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, mushroom cultivator, poet, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards