psychoanalyst, intestinal pipe cleaner, remote controller, land mine detonator, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, anthropophage, prickly pear importer, sculptor, pumpkin masher, lady di impersonator, leach sucker, contortionist, jet-setter, rectangulist, composer, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, male, landscape gardener, bomb shelter, ex-oboist, pop icon, brother, sherker, worrier, prodigal son, oceanographer, private dick, amateur gynecologist, former united states president, goodie-goodie, rumour spreader, settee upholsterer, sister, fruit picker, anteater, (null), grave robber, good egg, stamp licker, ex-smoker, draft enforcer, goatherd, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, celebrity embalmer, camel trader, fire hazard, tramp, head shrinker, brown haired, DIY fetishist, seasonal motocrotte driver, rollmop herring roller, burger flipper, bra underwirer, astrologist, programmer, refrigerator defurrer, football commentator, bear baiter, unemployed jockey, professional mourner, will-never-be ex-drinker, poet, ghostwriter, mammal, pedicurist, coffin nailer, teacher, hatchet man, sexologist, imposter, herbivore, hippopotamus wrestler, potty trainer, tattle-teller, post-raphaelite, beard trimmer, cannon fodder, olympic gold medallist, post-natal, make-up remover, old masters restorer, moisturiser, cowboy, toe-nail clipper, would-be francophone, big cheese, blue-eyed, your worst nightmare, 180 lbs, mad hatter, cricketer, northerner, roadrunner, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, bounty hunter, performance artist, chest hair decurler, taxidermist, 13 stone, absolutist, natural gas producer, monomaniac, palm reader, de-licer, crowd pleaser, march hare, bad speller, julio iglesias' lyricist, mercury sniffer, leg cruncher, painter, bikini waxer, antarctic explorer, astronaut, home-made man, elvis lookalike, 1m88, traffic warden, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, highwayman, sushi chef, pepper grinder, caucasian, honourary pygmy, debutante, jockstrap test pilot, elephant-house cleaner, egg pickler, best girlfriend, 82 kgs, hair stylist, englšnder, warmonger, snake charmer, margaret thatcher's joke writer, philosopher, soap opera starlet, armpit sound artist, soap-box maker, religious leader, solid-state physicist, autogamist, six-footer, necrologist, gurkha, healer, experimental ornithologist, eccles-cake eater, pooper-scooper, wheel changer, political consultant, jammy sod, paper pusher, corpse manicurist, love potion, zebra de-striper, happy camper, a-and-f-singer, sherpa, film critic, basket weaver, root canal digger, consumer, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, mushroom cultivator, failure, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards