zebra de-striper, composer, antarctic explorer, coffin nailer, unemployed jockey, debutante, wheel changer, consumer, egg pickler, basket weaver, political consultant, amateur gynecologist, gurkha, root canal digger, pedicurist, (null), necrologist, jockstrap test pilot, tramp, DIY fetishist, de-licer, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, mushroom cultivator, roadrunner, a-and-f-singer, pepper grinder, celebrity embalmer, grave robber, good egg, mercury sniffer, draft enforcer, poet, bra underwirer, burger flipper, rectangulist, private dick, head shrinker, hatchet man, programmer, beard trimmer, highwayman, paper pusher, jammy sod, lady di impersonator, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, remote controller, goodie-goodie, warmonger, painter, worrier, teacher, contortionist, land mine detonator, monomaniac, sherpa, toe-nail clipper, intestinal pipe cleaner, sushi chef, football commentator, moisturiser, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, bomb shelter, bikini waxer, pop icon, taxidermist, philosopher, sculptor, ghostwriter, cricketer, soap opera starlet, would-be francophone, autogamist, professional mourner, hippopotamus wrestler, healer, armpit sound artist, englšnder, male, mad hatter, eccles-cake eater, anthropophage, potty trainer, bear baiter, refrigerator defurrer, ex-smoker, palm reader, blue-eyed, settee upholsterer, old masters restorer, anteater, stamp licker, make-up remover, bad speller, psychoanalyst, big cheese, herbivore, brown haired, corpse manicurist, solid-state physicist, rumour spreader, performance artist, ex-oboist, march hare, sherker, leg cruncher, traffic warden, cannon fodder, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, happy camper, home-made man, prodigal son, film critic, experimental ornithologist, post-raphaelite, imposter, crowd pleaser, best girlfriend, hair stylist, snake charmer, post-natal, sexologist, brother, absolutist, rollmop herring roller, cowboy, love potion, astrologist, oceanographer, fruit picker, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, leach sucker, julio iglesias' lyricist, six-footer, 180 lbs, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, pumpkin masher, tattle-teller, 13 stone, northerner, jet-setter, bounty hunter, elvis lookalike, seasonal motocrotte driver, elephant-house cleaner, religious leader, will-never-be ex-drinker, soap-box maker, your worst nightmare, 82 kgs, margaret thatcher's joke writer, landscape gardener, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, goatherd, pooper-scooper, failure, caucasian, olympic gold medallist, camel trader, natural gas producer, sister, mammal, former united states president, fire hazard, prickly pear importer, 1m88, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, astronaut, honourary pygmy, chest hair decurler, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards