mercury sniffer, make-up remover, happy camper, DIY fetishist, grave robber, 82 kgs, caucasian, antarctic explorer, honourary pygmy, psychoanalyst, goodie-goodie, rollmop herring roller, a-and-f-singer, eccles-cake eater, debutante, jockstrap test pilot, jammy sod, hippopotamus wrestler, teacher, stamp licker, remote controller, lady di impersonator, big cheese, englšnder, professional mourner, zebra de-striper, autogamist, camel trader, sherker, religious leader, cowboy, tramp, oceanographer, leg cruncher, political consultant, head shrinker, gurkha, natural gas producer, margaret thatcher's joke writer, land mine detonator, astrologist, astronaut, celebrity embalmer, settee upholsterer, programmer, former united states president, goatherd, healer, absolutist, performance artist, sculptor, cricketer, pepper grinder, paper pusher, unemployed jockey, wheel changer, love potion, ex-oboist, anteater, soap-box maker, bra underwirer, burger flipper, snake charmer, worrier, northerner, bikini waxer, rumour spreader, toe-nail clipper, would-be francophone, good egg, brown haired, egg pickler, mad hatter, hatchet man, fruit picker, brother, intestinal pipe cleaner, bounty hunter, anthropophage, elephant-house cleaner, necrologist, male, consumer, elvis lookalike, prickly pear importer, pop icon, hair stylist, landscape gardener, sister, potty trainer, refrigerator defurrer, prodigal son, 180 lbs, experimental ornithologist, corpse manicurist, moisturiser, monomaniac, palm reader, home-made man, bomb shelter, imposter, traffic warden, pooper-scooper, coffin nailer, your worst nightmare, sherpa, 1m88, old masters restorer, root canal digger, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, film critic, tattle-teller, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, (null), solid-state physicist, fire hazard, will-never-be ex-drinker, olympic gold medallist, draft enforcer, composer, seasonal motocrotte driver, philosopher, 13 stone, taxidermist, chest hair decurler, crowd pleaser, best girlfriend, jet-setter, bear baiter, private dick, mushroom cultivator, soap opera starlet, failure, herbivore, post-raphaelite, poet, basket weaver, pumpkin masher, ex-smoker, football commentator, de-licer, post-natal, six-footer, rectangulist, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, armpit sound artist, blue-eyed, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, contortionist, mammal, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, highwayman, beard trimmer, warmonger, ghostwriter, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, march hare, bad speller, painter, sexologist, roadrunner, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, leach sucker, pedicurist, julio iglesias' lyricist, cannon fodder, sushi chef, amateur gynecologist, ... (suggestions?)


(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)
 

upwards and onwards