astronaut, solid-state physicist, sexologist, composer, root canal digger, autogamist, goatherd, big cheese, olympic gold medallist, coffin nailer, unemployed jockey, mercury sniffer, 180 lbs, professional mourner, highwayman, mammal, political consultant, 13 stone, bra underwirer, wheel changer, remote controller, ex-smoker, de-licer, tattle-teller, englšnder, pedicurist, debutante, camel trader, will-never-be ex-drinker, bear baiter, honourary pygmy, potty trainer, mad hatter, absolutist, roadrunner, egg pickler, 82 kgs, philosopher, tramp, jammy sod, teacher, leg cruncher, refrigerator defurrer, caucasian, celebrity embalmer, performance artist, herbivore, intestinal pipe cleaner, former united states president, consumer, brother, leach sucker, head shrinker, fruit picker, draft enforcer, pumpkin masher, private dick, stamp licker, bounty hunter, poet, imposter, lady di impersonator, rollmop herring roller, rectangulist, chest hair decurler, pepper grinder, blue-eyed, taxidermist, a-and-f-singer, hatchet man, pooper-scooper, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, armpit sound artist, male, bomb shelter, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, programmer, cowboy, elephant-house cleaner, sister, toe-nail clipper, antarctic explorer, psychoanalyst, failure, ex-oboist, goodie-goodie, fire hazard, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, zebra de-striper, moisturiser, rumour spreader, (null), beard trimmer, jet-setter, northerner, six-footer, burger flipper, paper pusher, warmonger, soap opera starlet, jockstrap test pilot, contortionist, film critic, ghostwriter, palm reader, make-up remover, grave robber, land mine detonator, cricketer, your worst nightmare, anteater, traffic warden, necrologist, julio iglesias' lyricist, bikini waxer, best girlfriend, DIY fetishist, natural gas producer, prickly pear importer, worrier, old masters restorer, good egg, march hare, elvis lookalike, gurkha, oceanographer, healer, cannon fodder, sculptor, settee upholsterer, corpse manicurist, home-made man, sushi chef, eccles-cake eater, love potion, pop icon, amateur gynecologist, snake charmer, happy camper, margaret thatcher's joke writer, brown haired, landscape gardener, prodigal son, astrologist, 1m88, hippopotamus wrestler, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, seasonal motocrotte driver, monomaniac, anthropophage, sherpa, would-be francophone, basket weaver, post-raphaelite, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, football commentator, hair stylist, experimental ornithologist, crowd pleaser, soap-box maker, religious leader, sherker, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, mushroom cultivator, post-natal, bad speller, painter, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards