pop icon, remote controller, de-licer, love potion, healer, soap opera starlet, armpit sound artist, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, fruit picker, pooper-scooper, land mine detonator, snake charmer, bounty hunter, rectangulist, solid-state physicist, amateur gynecologist, bikini waxer, leg cruncher, zebra de-striper, hair stylist, warmonger, cricketer, prodigal son, anthropophage, philosopher, astronaut, a-and-f-singer, ex-oboist, will-never-be ex-drinker, mad hatter, tattle-teller, margaret thatcher's joke writer, taxidermist, tramp, beard trimmer, sexologist, potty trainer, goodie-goodie, good egg, (null), basket weaver, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, ghostwriter, brother, male, highwayman, chest hair decurler, film critic, roadrunner, six-footer, stamp licker, crowd pleaser, northerner, best girlfriend, consumer, hatchet man, bra underwirer, soap-box maker, caucasian, rumour spreader, bad speller, home-made man, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, antarctic explorer, private dick, anteater, goatherd, leach sucker, head shrinker, intestinal pipe cleaner, fire hazard, poet, honourary pygmy, debutante, imposter, moisturiser, absolutist, jet-setter, root canal digger, sister, astrologist, sherpa, pumpkin masher, failure, ex-smoker, make-up remover, pedicurist, necrologist, sculptor, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, rollmop herring roller, brown haired, unemployed jockey, elvis lookalike, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, blue-eyed, julio iglesias' lyricist, camel trader, autogamist, landscape gardener, wheel changer, olympic gold medallist, bear baiter, cannon fodder, old masters restorer, 180 lbs, 13 stone, professional mourner, performance artist, eccles-cake eater, refrigerator defurrer, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, football commentator, former united states president, elephant-house cleaner, oceanographer, corpse manicurist, coffin nailer, settee upholsterer, burger flipper, worrier, englšnder, draft enforcer, jockstrap test pilot, would-be francophone, cowboy, celebrity embalmer, religious leader, 1m88, natural gas producer, mercury sniffer, herbivore, hippopotamus wrestler, sherker, experimental ornithologist, egg pickler, seasonal motocrotte driver, prickly pear importer, gurkha, post-natal, traffic warden, big cheese, psychoanalyst, political consultant, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, DIY fetishist, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, grave robber, 82 kgs, toe-nail clipper, contortionist, paper pusher, jammy sod, mammal, bomb shelter, happy camper, lady di impersonator, palm reader, mushroom cultivator, pepper grinder, composer, your worst nightmare, teacher, march hare, sushi chef, programmer, monomaniac, post-raphaelite, painter, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards