autogamist, stamp licker, unemployed jockey, pedicurist, male, best girlfriend, englšnder, professional mourner, mushroom cultivator, toe-nail clipper, prickly pear importer, basket weaver, gurkha, potty trainer, cowboy, psychoanalyst, absolutist, hippopotamus wrestler, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, experimental ornithologist, poet, prodigal son, blue-eyed, roadrunner, astronaut, necrologist, post-raphaelite, northerner, tramp, old masters restorer, brown haired, goatherd, natural gas producer, rollmop herring roller, would-be francophone, former united states president, ex-oboist, armpit sound artist, football commentator, performance artist, bomb shelter, sexologist, march hare, pop icon, DIY fetishist, debutante, bra underwirer, monomaniac, hatchet man, antarctic explorer, oceanographer, traffic warden, happy camper, bear baiter, ghostwriter, root canal digger, ex-smoker, margaret thatcher's joke writer, contortionist, mammal, brother, pepper grinder, draft enforcer, 82 kgs, astrologist, consumer, jammy sod, programmer, coffin nailer, rumour spreader, settee upholsterer, failure, 1m88, crowd pleaser, 180 lbs, sherpa, celebrity embalmer, fire hazard, good egg, make-up remover, mercury sniffer, warmonger, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, cannon fodder, olympic gold medallist, palm reader, home-made man, julio iglesias' lyricist, eccles-cake eater, moisturiser, teacher, sister, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, mad hatter, chest hair decurler, zebra de-striper, elephant-house cleaner, snake charmer, imposter, camel trader, hair stylist, soap opera starlet, seasonal motocrotte driver, burger flipper, honourary pygmy, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, land mine detonator, leg cruncher, sculptor, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, pumpkin masher, anthropophage, jockstrap test pilot, solid-state physicist, sushi chef, elvis lookalike, post-natal, love potion, rectangulist, fruit picker, big cheese, your worst nightmare, six-footer, jet-setter, de-licer, grave robber, tattle-teller, philosopher, wheel changer, bad speller, religious leader, 13 stone, caucasian, political consultant, pooper-scooper, bikini waxer, sherker, amateur gynecologist, anteater, beard trimmer, goodie-goodie, painter, landscape gardener, paper pusher, cricketer, healer, corpse manicurist, lady di impersonator, film critic, private dick, will-never-be ex-drinker, (null), soap-box maker, leach sucker, a-and-f-singer, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, composer, egg pickler, head shrinker, remote controller, highwayman, worrier, herbivore, bounty hunter, taxidermist, intestinal pipe cleaner, refrigerator defurrer, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards