consumer, bounty hunter, basket weaver, love potion, de-licer, rectangulist, honourary pygmy, soap opera starlet, tramp, experimental ornithologist, elephant-house cleaner, astrologist, root canal digger, male, happy camper, refrigerator defurrer, jammy sod, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, mushroom cultivator, blue-eyed, 13 stone, oceanographer, unemployed jockey, intestinal pipe cleaner, old masters restorer, herbivore, hatchet man, 1m88, rollmop herring roller, post-natal, programmer, highwayman, toe-nail clipper, autogamist, elvis lookalike, jockstrap test pilot, julio iglesias' lyricist, 82 kgs, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, cricketer, armpit sound artist, 180 lbs, beard trimmer, hippopotamus wrestler, DIY fetishist, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, sherker, failure, professional mourner, (null), chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, former united states president, necrologist, palm reader, prickly pear importer, performance artist, contortionist, warmonger, painter, tattle-teller, eccles-cake eater, religious leader, teacher, leg cruncher, monomaniac, pooper-scooper, poet, coffin nailer, stamp licker, chest hair decurler, imposter, cowboy, taxidermist, seasonal motocrotte driver, fruit picker, debutante, wheel changer, gurkha, make-up remover, best girlfriend, caucasian, ex-oboist, landscape gardener, amateur gynecologist, jet-setter, a-and-f-singer, crowd pleaser, settee upholsterer, brown haired, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, ghostwriter, your worst nightmare, bad speller, march hare, camel trader, private dick, burger flipper, natural gas producer, bear baiter, bikini waxer, head shrinker, philosopher, goatherd, cannon fodder, traffic warden, leach sucker, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, anthropophage, composer, englšnder, antarctic explorer, mammal, olympic gold medallist, would-be francophone, remote controller, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, solid-state physicist, psychoanalyst, rumour spreader, land mine detonator, post-raphaelite, healer, bomb shelter, zebra de-striper, astronaut, fire hazard, sexologist, pumpkin masher, six-footer, northerner, draft enforcer, political consultant, big cheese, pop icon, mad hatter, snake charmer, absolutist, potty trainer, prodigal son, goodie-goodie, paper pusher, corpse manicurist, sushi chef, soap-box maker, celebrity embalmer, mercury sniffer, lady di impersonator, moisturiser, bra underwirer, grave robber, sculptor, home-made man, ex-smoker, pepper grinder, football commentator, margaret thatcher's joke writer, sherpa, film critic, roadrunner, anteater, egg pickler, brother, pedicurist, hair stylist, good egg, worrier, will-never-be ex-drinker, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, sister, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards