1m88, worrier, wheel changer, potty trainer, brother, bra underwirer, post-raphaelite, burger flipper, pepper grinder, tramp, antarctic explorer, pooper-scooper, basket weaver, DIY fetishist, unemployed jockey, herbivore, leach sucker, sherpa, will-never-be ex-drinker, sister, settee upholsterer, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, corpse manicurist, land mine detonator, 180 lbs, necrologist, stamp licker, grave robber, bounty hunter, film critic, de-licer, cricketer, big cheese, landscape gardener, teacher, cannon fodder, composer, bad speller, crowd pleaser, intestinal pipe cleaner, hippopotamus wrestler, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, snake charmer, natural gas producer, mercury sniffer, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, hair stylist, jet-setter, happy camper, experimental ornithologist, gurkha, coffin nailer, programmer, honourary pygmy, warmonger, englšnder, refrigerator defurrer, camel trader, mushroom cultivator, chest hair decurler, rectangulist, football commentator, bear baiter, home-made man, painter, armpit sound artist, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, leg cruncher, prickly pear importer, tattle-teller, march hare, elephant-house cleaner, sexologist, paper pusher, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, 13 stone, political consultant, rumour spreader, performance artist, 82 kgs, moisturiser, bikini waxer, post-natal, astronaut, jammy sod, eccles-cake eater, autogamist, ex-smoker, taxidermist, jockstrap test pilot, would-be francophone, northerner, seasonal motocrotte driver, cowboy, failure, philosopher, caucasian, zebra de-striper, contortionist, roadrunner, poet, private dick, anteater, root canal digger, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, goodie-goodie, fruit picker, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, egg pickler, best girlfriend, margaret thatcher's joke writer, pop icon, prodigal son, professional mourner, bomb shelter, beard trimmer, pedicurist, solid-state physicist, astrologist, goatherd, blue-eyed, toe-nail clipper, monomaniac, traffic warden, ex-oboist, draft enforcer, healer, former united states president, palm reader, celebrity embalmer, julio iglesias' lyricist, ghostwriter, soap opera starlet, debutante, your worst nightmare, sculptor, sushi chef, rollmop herring roller, amateur gynecologist, mammal, male, old masters restorer, fire hazard, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, brown haired, anthropophage, make-up remover, six-footer, absolutist, lady di impersonator, good egg, pumpkin masher, head shrinker, soap-box maker, oceanographer, consumer, elvis lookalike, love potion, sherker, (null), a-and-f-singer, religious leader, psychoanalyst, remote controller, highwayman, olympic gold medallist, mad hatter, hatchet man, imposter, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards