leach sucker, autogamist, astrologist, soap-box maker, seasonal motocrotte driver, olympic gold medallist, toe-nail clipper, big cheese, performance artist, male, brown haired, absolutist, warmonger, beard trimmer, fire hazard, former united states president, northerner, julio iglesias' lyricist, solid-state physicist, pumpkin masher, mercury sniffer, elvis lookalike, cricketer, DIY fetishist, refrigerator defurrer, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, astronaut, sushi chef, sherker, landscape gardener, 82 kgs, crowd pleaser, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, prickly pear importer, sexologist, will-never-be ex-drinker, necrologist, debutante, unemployed jockey, ghostwriter, pepper grinder, bounty hunter, bomb shelter, home-made man, cannon fodder, worrier, tattle-teller, root canal digger, failure, bear baiter, hatchet man, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, gurkha, 1m88, traffic warden, old masters restorer, paper pusher, philosopher, contortionist, anteater, grave robber, honourary pygmy, taxidermist, good egg, remote controller, rectangulist, fruit picker, healer, mushroom cultivator, intestinal pipe cleaner, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, land mine detonator, chest hair decurler, programmer, basket weaver, poet, coffin nailer, oceanographer, draft enforcer, settee upholsterer, moisturiser, herbivore, ex-oboist, composer, consumer, make-up remover, six-footer, eccles-cake eater, your worst nightmare, amateur gynecologist, monomaniac, blue-eyed, anthropophage, egg pickler, bra underwirer, mad hatter, 180 lbs, march hare, (null), 13 stone, stamp licker, imposter, teacher, palm reader, bikini waxer, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, antarctic explorer, sculptor, mammal, burger flipper, head shrinker, sister, jammy sod, football commentator, jockstrap test pilot, would-be francophone, pedicurist, soap opera starlet, natural gas producer, caucasian, post-natal, tramp, snake charmer, elephant-house cleaner, jet-setter, corpse manicurist, cowboy, rumour spreader, best girlfriend, potty trainer, highwayman, love potion, margaret thatcher's joke writer, ex-smoker, armpit sound artist, de-licer, psychoanalyst, hippopotamus wrestler, rollmop herring roller, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, bad speller, goatherd, englšnder, sherpa, a-and-f-singer, experimental ornithologist, wheel changer, brother, camel trader, pooper-scooper, goodie-goodie, professional mourner, political consultant, roadrunner, pop icon, prodigal son, post-raphaelite, celebrity embalmer, happy camper, lady di impersonator, film critic, painter, zebra de-striper, leg cruncher, private dick, hair stylist, religious leader, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards