leach sucker, imposter, religious leader, settee upholsterer, absolutist, remote controller, englšnder, debutante, football commentator, bounty hunter, sculptor, brother, soap-box maker, taxidermist, mushroom cultivator, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, rectangulist, post-raphaelite, anthropophage, poet, highwayman, teacher, good egg, snake charmer, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, refrigerator defurrer, beard trimmer, sherker, experimental ornithologist, potty trainer, tattle-teller, psychoanalyst, coffin nailer, a-and-f-singer, unemployed jockey, head shrinker, pooper-scooper, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, solid-state physicist, make-up remover, natural gas producer, pepper grinder, will-never-be ex-drinker, cannon fodder, de-licer, crowd pleaser, composer, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, autogamist, post-natal, programmer, leg cruncher, bad speller, basket weaver, burger flipper, wheel changer, astronaut, film critic, bomb shelter, painter, elvis lookalike, 180 lbs, private dick, sushi chef, soap opera starlet, philosopher, pop icon, necrologist, sherpa, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, bear baiter, herbivore, 1m88, land mine detonator, pumpkin masher, rollmop herring roller, bikini waxer, oceanographer, roadrunner, hatchet man, political consultant, cowboy, anteater, corpse manicurist, zebra de-striper, stamp licker, 13 stone, ghostwriter, male, landscape gardener, amateur gynecologist, caucasian, sexologist, prickly pear importer, root canal digger, gurkha, failure, blue-eyed, performance artist, monomaniac, happy camper, consumer, your worst nightmare, armpit sound artist, egg pickler, draft enforcer, brown haired, tramp, sister, jammy sod, six-footer, eccles-cake eater, elephant-house cleaner, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, chest hair decurler, olympic gold medallist, old masters restorer, best girlfriend, goatherd, march hare, would-be francophone, hair stylist, former united states president, goodie-goodie, margaret thatcher's joke writer, mad hatter, home-made man, prodigal son, fruit picker, ex-smoker, astrologist, 82 kgs, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, traffic warden, pedicurist, fire hazard, jet-setter, paper pusher, (null), celebrity embalmer, ex-oboist, cricketer, mercury sniffer, rumour spreader, palm reader, contortionist, big cheese, seasonal motocrotte driver, moisturiser, northerner, DIY fetishist, grave robber, mammal, toe-nail clipper, antarctic explorer, healer, warmonger, lady di impersonator, hippopotamus wrestler, jockstrap test pilot, worrier, julio iglesias' lyricist, love potion, intestinal pipe cleaner, camel trader, professional mourner, bra underwirer, honourary pygmy, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards