hippopotamus wrestler, professional mourner, bomb shelter, sushi chef, blue-eyed, anthropophage, 82 kgs, bra underwirer, pop icon, de-licer, englšnder, rollmop herring roller, brown haired, hatchet man, warmonger, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, tattle-teller, mushroom cultivator, draft enforcer, debutante, contortionist, honourary pygmy, jockstrap test pilot, zebra de-striper, fire hazard, toe-nail clipper, roadrunner, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, sherpa, chest hair decurler, leg cruncher, rumour spreader, elvis lookalike, corpse manicurist, film critic, absolutist, hair stylist, unemployed jockey, best girlfriend, cannon fodder, brother, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, sculptor, paper pusher, potty trainer, grave robber, experimental ornithologist, bad speller, DIY fetishist, consumer, 13 stone, composer, prodigal son, football commentator, highwayman, gurkha, sister, pedicurist, astrologist, jet-setter, good egg, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, bounty hunter, a-and-f-singer, bear baiter, failure, make-up remover, julio iglesias' lyricist, mammal, teacher, necrologist, will-never-be ex-drinker, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, pepper grinder, solid-state physicist, olympic gold medallist, male, performance artist, imposter, love potion, march hare, crowd pleaser, sherker, autogamist, ex-oboist, elephant-house cleaner, caucasian, snake charmer, rectangulist, cowboy, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, taxidermist, oceanographer, prickly pear importer, bikini waxer, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, soap opera starlet, (null), home-made man, antarctic explorer, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, palm reader, traffic warden, poet, 180 lbs, soap-box maker, religious leader, land mine detonator, your worst nightmare, anteater, leach sucker, wheel changer, mad hatter, big cheese, old masters restorer, six-footer, worrier, amateur gynecologist, pooper-scooper, eccles-cake eater, philosopher, intestinal pipe cleaner, programmer, margaret thatcher's joke writer, political consultant, moisturiser, stamp licker, goatherd, ex-smoker, astronaut, pumpkin masher, remote controller, mercury sniffer, monomaniac, post-raphaelite, egg pickler, basket weaver, sexologist, burger flipper, refrigerator defurrer, landscape gardener, would-be francophone, root canal digger, northerner, psychoanalyst, happy camper, coffin nailer, herbivore, beard trimmer, ghostwriter, post-natal, painter, seasonal motocrotte driver, lady di impersonator, armpit sound artist, camel trader, private dick, head shrinker, former united states president, natural gas producer, settee upholsterer, fruit picker, tramp, jammy sod, goodie-goodie, celebrity embalmer, 1m88, cricketer, healer, ... (suggestions?)

(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)

upwards and onwards